Executive coaching often begins with a the client lamenting their current situation. Specifically, when team members are not performing, there is a tendency to blame them that some managers simply cannot see past.
On the other hand, many senior leaders have learned that blaming their team members is not the right approach, and recognise the many powerful ways they can influence their teams. It’s always exciting to start a coaching engagement with these leaders, as the door is already half open for spectacular possibilities.
Coaching the first group is sometimes threatened by getting bogged down in blame and powerlessness. While there are many tools to help lift a client out of that quagmire, I have found one of the best is a beautiful quote by Thích Nhất Hạnh, a Buddhist monk from Vietnam who spent much of his life teaching in France.
“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you
don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not
doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or
less sun. You never blame the lettuce.
Yet if we have
problems with our friends or family, we blame the other
person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will
grow well, like the lettuce.
Blaming has no positive
effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason
and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no
reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you
understand, and you show that you understand, you can
love, and the situation will change”
Helping my clients focus on the environment quickly shifts the conversation towards positive, powerful possibilities.
How does it land for you?
(See also https://www.fallingangelrisingape.com/falling-angel/when-you-plant-lettuce/)